MEN AND GRIEF
While we all grieve differently, there are distinct differences in the way men and women respond to grief. This does not mean that men do not experience the same emotions of grief that women experience, but they tend to manifest it differently.
Whilst views on masculinity are changing, previously there have been cultural expectations on men to manage their grief in ways that are in line with being seen as strong, protective, and self-sufficient.
Nonetheless, many men still express their grief by withdrawing emotionally as if to protect their partner or by trying to be a pillar of strength.
Signs of grief in men
People often notice the following changes in their male partner
Isolation and withdrawal (including from intimacy).
Over involvement in work or other causes/hobbies.
Increased consumption of alcohol and/or drug use.
Anger
Irritability
Reluctance to seek help
Why do men struggle to talk about feelings?
Men tend to deal with grief by trying to control their emotions and relying on the belief that their strength will get them through the difficulty. This means that men often respond negatively to the idea that talking about their grief is helpful. Talking about feelings counter to how they might normally deal with things.
Why is this problematic?
The apparent ability to cope that men try to display can lead to a misperception that they are OK and that they are immune to grief and the feelings associated with the loss of a child.
The couple in this situation cannot grieve together, and this can lead to adverse consequences for the relationship.
Penthos understands these issues and has designed a therapeutic program to help pave the way for men to feel more comfortable in being able to talk with their partners.
Impact of Death on a sibling?
Penthos is aware that the death of a sibling can impact any surviving child. This can affect all areas of their functioning including their health, behaviour, schoolwork, and relationships with others.
This is often as a result of the impact of the loss on the parents and their previous parenting capacity. The parents’ emotional resources are severely stretched at a time when the needs of surviving children have to be considered. The children may also feel the parents need to be cared for by them.
This is why Penthos offers its program for the parental couple. Penthos therapists are trained to understand the needs of children and families.
Seeking Help and Counselling
Penthos’ team of experienced and specially trained couple therapists help parents manage and integrate the grief, stress, and trauma of losing a child.
Penthos is funded by donors to provide grieving parents with no-cost therapy.
If you would like to discuss this further or set up an appointment you can do this through our contact us page