MISCARRIAGE AND UNSUCCESSFUL IVF
Repeated pregnancy losses or failure to conceive is a devastating experience and can disrupt a couple’s view of themselves and their future life together. Each reproductive cycle activates feelings of hope along with anxiety, helplessness, and uncertainty. The physical, psychological, and financial stress of repeated IVF attempts or repeated miscarriages can place some couples at risk of relationship breakdown. Miscarriage or failure to conceive a child can also challenge the couple’s belief in their capacity to be a creative and healthy couple.
The loss of such a pregnancy may not be discussed or made known to others and the couple may grieve alone and isolate to avoid feelings of shame or longing. They may also avoid socializing with other families who have young children as this confronts them with their own loss. They may try to manage the grief associated with their loss by embarking quickly on another pregnancy attempt.
The couple may also not recognize that difficulties in their relationship are related to their repeated experience of loss.
How does this type of loss affect a couple?
Parents often experience a range of feelings including:
Feelings of failure or inadequacy.
Anger/blame/frustration with themselves, their partner, or the medical profession.
Shame e.g., at their inability to conceive.
Despair and sadness about never being able to conceive.
Envy of others with children.
Remorse about past choices.
Anxiety e.g. What will happen next?
Resentment e.g., about the demands upon the couple.
This can result in each seeing these responses in their partner while denying them in themselves.
Seeking Help
Penthos’ team of couple therapists specialize in helping parents manage and overcome the grief, stress, and trauma of losing a child through IVF failure or miscarriage.
Penthos was established to provide grieving parents with no-cost therapy.
If you would like to discuss this further or set up an appointment you can do this through our contact us page.